Most people who care about you want you to grow, ask questions, and be yourself. A few people try to do the opposite — and it helps to know the difference.
Sometimes a person, a group, or even someone online will try to control how you think and what you do. It can happen anywhere — a club, a team, a chat, a relationship, a group that says it has all the answers. It usually works the same way: they make you a little scared, and they make you feel like you're not good enough on your own. Then they feel like the only fix.
One of these on its own usually isn't a big deal. But if a few of them are happening at once, it's worth paying attention.
They say only they know the truth, and you're not allowed to ask questions.
They make you feel like something's wrong with you that only they can fix.
They say something bad will happen if you leave, disagree, or doubt them.
They try to keep you away from your family or your friends.
They want you to keep secrets from the people who care about you.
They get angry or punish you just for asking "why?"
They say their group is the only safe place, and everyone outside it is bad.
That uneasy feeling isn't silly — it's information. You're allowed to listen to it.
You're allowed to ask "why?" Someone who's really on your side is happy to answer. Someone who isn't will try to make you feel bad for asking.
A parent, a relative, a teacher, a school counselor, a coach — someone outside the situation. You are not in trouble for asking for help, and you don't have to handle it alone.
Anyone who needs you to hide things from the people who love you is not protecting you. That's a sign, not a kindness.
Feeling unsure about someone doesn't mean you did anything wrong, and it doesn't mean you're being dramatic. The bravest, smartest thing you can do is talk to someone you trust. You get to be the one who decides who's in your life.